No End In Sight

Back in 2002 I started having trouble sleeping
and was wide awake all night and only getting
30 minutes of sleep a day.

This will pass I thought,I mean we all have 
sleepless nights once in a while and some
people have nights where we get a little sleep
but not enough and our day just goes to shit.

All said,this was what i originally thought.
I went to the medical clinic in Wasilla and
spoke with a doctor in detail who informed
me i was going manic.

I was then referred to a shrink who started
me on meds to calm me down but then theres
always the side effects.

Back then she was giving me schizophrenia
medications which alarmed me because of
the historical abuses of those people.

She was playing Dr. Frankenstein with her 
Mad Science laboratory of crazy mental health 
drugs...then theres the cross pharmacology
where you started mixing several drugs.

Nothing really helped and the hand tremors 
were really bad amongst other things.

Some years ago, Olanzapine came out and 
that worked very well but because of Mad
Science my doc was always going max dose 
to max and a half and that stuff shoots your
blood sugars crazy high.

Her advice was to take more insulin but you
only get so much in a vial and at one point 
she had me on a really high dose that caused
me to use more insulin than what in the bottle
so i had to ration insulin a week before i could
get some more.

I had that experience one month so i dropped 
from 30mg Max and a half to 20mg max dose
then i only used half a bottle but the hand 
tremors were severe and using my computer 
went from almost impossible to very difficult.

A couple months ago i had a separate doctor
get me a lower dose to see if that would be
a better fit to decrease hand tremors and blood
sugars which worked out well.

The tremors went down by 50% and my insulin
usage dropped to a third of a bottle.
The trade off was being a bit more manic.
I can now with ease use my video/website editors
and i am getting back into gaming.

Im very please but Dr.Frankenstein is pissed
i went around her system....I am not a person
who enjoys being experimented on and i am
well read,we do have the world wide web so i
use it to my advantage.

Life now is so much better and i am enjoying
the Autumn Leaves.

Peace,BigT